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My Spider Friend

by | Nov 13, 2024 | Thinking Out Loud

If you attend Northwest Barrie United Church, you may know that I have two jobs there. I am the minister, and I am also the guy in charge of changing the sign-out front of the church.  One of those jobs I do much better than the other!  We are in the process of purchasing and installing a digital sign, which will make my second job redundant, as the messaging on the sign will be administered from a computer in the office. But for now, I venture out in every kind of weather to change the sign and advertise whatever church event is coming up.  Just last week I changed it from an advertisement for the Turkey Dinner to one for the Bake Sale.

Lest you think it a lonely job, I have a friend out there.  It is a spider that hides under the latch on the far side of the sign.  He spins a web around the outside of the sign, which I have to break every time I open it to change the letters.  Each time I break the web, I apologize to the spider for ruining his handiwork.  Thankfully, the spider has never spoken back to me, but I can tell he is upset, as he remains curled in a ball refusing to look at me.

I don’t know how long spiders live, but for the past 5 years at least there has been a spider there, and I’m convinced it’s the same one.  It appears every single fall.  And just to be clear, this is not a tiny, household spider, this spider would elicit screams should you find it crawling up your arm.  I have come to really appreciate my spider friend for his longevity.  He also inspires me.  He is a study in resilience.  He (I apologize if it’s a she) must know by now, that the web that he builds is going to be ruined.  He must know in his tiny spider brain, that it’s a matter of days before the tall guy with the receding hairline is going to come and rip it apart.  And yet, he spins.  And yet, he creates.  And after I leave, he sets about spinning it again.

Resilience is a quality that I believe pays dividends.  Those who have achieved any level of success know that the biggest mistake you can make when you get knocked down is to stay down.

Nelson Mandela, who knew better than anyone how harsh and unforgiving life can be once said, “Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

J.K. Rowling, of Harry Potter fame, once said, “rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life.”

And Winston Churchill put it as only Winston Churchill can, “if you are going through hell, keep going”.

Fewer things are crueller than watching something you built, something that sustained you, something you loved, get shredded in front of you.  Fewer things hurt more than losing a job you have poured your heart into, or losing a spouse that you had assumed you would build a life with.  There are no guarantees in life, we all know this.  We build and create with the best of intentions, knowing that one day it may be taken away.  But as my spider friend teaches me each week, just because you lose something doesn’t mean you have to give up on it.  You can lose a job, but you haven’t lost the skills that allowed you to flourish in that job.  You can lose a love, but you haven’t lost the capacity for love.

Everything can be re-created.  The trick is, keep building.

If you are in the neighbourhood, stop by and see my spider.  He won’t be there much longer.  Soon the sign will be gone, and a new one will take its place.  Maybe, just maybe he will take up residence on the new sign, safe in the knowledge that finally his web won’t be disturbed.

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About the Author

  • Rev. Phil has been the minister at NWBUC since 2007. A “limey” by birth, Phil and his family emigrated from England in 1972 and settled in Etobicoke. Phil grew up in the United Church, attending Hum...

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