Boy, did I goof up yesterday. Thank you to the person who pointed out that in my blog about bike riding, I wrote that I was peddling my bike, not pedalling my bike. To be clear, I was riding it, not selling it.
Oops.
We all make mistakes. That’s why pencils have erasers and professional hockey GM’s get fired in Toronto. We are all perfectly imperfect. What is the biggest mistake you have made? I have a not-so-short laundry list of them, including calling a bride by her sister’s name in her wedding ceremony. Thankfully both the bride and the groom were understanding, and the sister told me afterwards that she appreciated being able to get married without the fuss of planning her own wedding.
Oops.
We all mistakes, and thus we are all required to say sorry. People say that Canadians are very good at apologizing. I suppose we are, but we are not the only nation that is good it. The Brits can give us a run for our money. There is an old joke in England, “if you step on someone’s toes, how do you know they are British? They say, “I’m sorry””. If we are all good at making mistakes, we should all be equally good at admitting them and asking for forgiveness.
But guess what? Some of us are not as good as we may think we are.
According to a book called, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, there is right way to apologize and a wrong way to apologize. Like love, apologies are meant to be unconditional. But too often they are not. Have you ever said, “I’m sorry, but you started it”? That is an example of a conditional apology. By adding the word “but” you are deflecting the blame to the other person, thus nullifying the apology. “But” is the number one word, according to this book, that we should never use in an apology. Other no-no’s are “if”, “obviously”, and “regret”. Apologies should be straightforward and sincere. In a good apology we take full responsibly for our actions and we acknowledge the pain we have caused the other person. When we can do that, we create safe space for the other person to forgive us or at least acknowledge that we know that we caused harm by our words or actions.
I love this quote; “an apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift”. That I true when an apology is straightforward, sincere, and given without condition.
So….
“I’m sorry for my mistake yesterday, but I was rushing to get my blog written” (not good!)
“I’m sorry for my mistake yesterday, obviously it wasn’t a big deal” (not good!)
“I’m regret my mistake yesterday, but if you had something better to do than read my blog you wouldn’t have noticed it (bad on so many levels!)
“I’m sorry I made a mistake” (nailed it!)
Have a great Tuesday and enjoy the amazing weather!!