I have to buy a couch. 

This may not seem like a big deal to you, but for me, it’s huge.

 I’m 54 years old and I have never bought a piece of furniture by myself.  I wasn’t sure where to start, so I decide to go to Bad Boy.  After all, if you can’t trust Mel Lastman, who can you trust?!  When I walked in I was welcomed (some might say pounced on) by Brandon.  Brandon asked me what I was looking for and when I told him he said, “okay, what kind of couch do you want?”  I said, “a comfy one”.  Brandon raised an eyebrow.  Yeah, I realized that was a dumb thing to say as soon as I said it, I mean asking for a couch that is comfy is like asking for a skate with a blade in it.  Who doesn’t want a comfy couch?  But to be fair, comfort is relative.  If Goldilocks taught us anything its that finding comfort takes some effort. 

Good ol’ persistent Brandon then said, “other than comfort, what do you want?”  I told him I was interested in an “L” shaped couch.  He took to me to one.  I wanted to tell him that his “L” shaped couch looked more like it was “V” shaped but I figured I was already on shaky ground with this guy.   I sat down on the couch while Brandon watched me.  I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was.  Was sampling a couch like sampling a bottle of wine?  Was I supposed to shift around on it and make pleasing sounds so he knew I liked it?  In truth, I did like it.  It was everything I wanted in a couch.  It was soft enough to invite sitting and relaxing, but not so soft that it encouraged laziness and sloth.  To quote Goldilocks, “it was juuuuuuust right!”  I could imagine myself sprawled on it watching a movie or sitting on its edge taking in a game seven.  But more importantly I could picture my family and friends all lined up on it like birds on a wire all cooing and chirping about how much they liked my new couch. 

It was perfect.  SOLD!! 

And then Brandon showed me the price.  $2000.  “Are you serious?” (I said this to myself so as not to make a scene).  Who can afford a couch at that price?  I’ll tell you who…nooooooooooooooobody!!!!  So, I left Bad Boy behind.  When I got back to my computer I did a little research and discovered that the price was actually pretty good for a couch of that size and quality. 

The word couch comes from the French word “coucher” which means, “to sleep”.  So that’s what I’ll do, I’ll sleep on it.  Not literally of course.